Today is not such a great day. The temperature is 11 degrees outside and the house seems so dark to me today. The baby slept even worse than usual with a nasty new cold he caught from his big sister. I’m anxious to move on with my plans for spring, chomping at the bit, but alas mountains of ice- snow still need melting (which doesn’t happen on frigid days).
I have decided to to rent out my “shed” on airBnB. I’ve been doing research about that and I find it perplexing that you don’t really have to do the “B”, breakfast. In fact some might say it’s debatable whether you have to do the “B” as in bed! What ever you offer on airBnB, however, is submitted to the IRS so you must be ready to pay taxes on your rental income. I think I have decided to take out the cheap and very uncomfortable sleeper sofa in the shed and put in a real queen sized bed, even if it takes up crucial space in that 12 X 16 room having a super comfortable bed to sleep in is critical when you’re paying money for accommodations. I am very optimistic that I can get $50 to $65 per night and this is something I can do with the kids around, even with the baby in tow. If this goes well this summer I will rent out the house next summer. I have almost convinced Denis that this would be a grand way to make easy money. If I really work hard on the land this summer by next summer we could experiment with living out there the whole summer and renting the house out to vacationers as well as the “shed”. If I could start making a bit of money I could even afford to put a rustic camp on the land instead of the camper.
This is all I can really do right now, sit with my thoughts and ponder different possibilities. The day seems endless. I’m hoping the eventual warming and the marker of spring coming tomorrow can lift my spirits up, I’m ashamed of how depressed I have gotten this winter. The endless cycle of guilt, food, weight, shame and then more guilt. I so hope for a tiny bit of motivation or spark to ignite this dull soul of mine, it might be the spring breeze will do it. I also think the possibility of making some money has lifted my spirits a bit, I could hire some help with the baby and get work done on the land. I like the heavy lifting under a blazing August sun. I want to sweat and use the field trimmer and chainsaw. I want to attack the bramble and burn brush. Mostly I want to have a moment to do something besides wipe a snotty nose and read wheels on the bus for the umpteenth time. I want to lose myself in the work of something meaningful. I’m embarrassed that I don’t find it in being a mother and wife, but I just don’t. I can add that to my ever growing to do list: Be a spiritually present mother.
The Art of Now: Six Steps to Living in the MomentWe live in the age of distraction. Yet one of life’s sharpest paradoxes is that your brightest future hinges on your ability to pay attention to the present.